


We  can  be heroes... just for one day

by sal_paradise



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. AU, Angst and Fluff, M/M, Multi, These two losers so can express their emotions, and lip and buck just shake their heads alot, and speirs and luz have powers too, lew has powers and dick is his handler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 13:23:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4139175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_paradise/pseuds/sal_paradise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tumblr user  a storyandsong   asked for I want an AU where Nixon is an agent of SHEILD. Like, he’s a metahuman or mutant with telepathy and he drinks to make things quiet. Hates hearing other people’s thoughts but it makes him SO GOOD at his job. Winters is assigned to him because he’s really valuable as an asset and needs someone to keep him on the straight and narrow. And Winters is so quiet to him.</p><p>So they work together and kind of gather the others by accident until they have this team. Other metahumans and mutants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We  can  be heroes... just for one day

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, just wanted to say this is no offense to the real men of easy company whom I admire highly. This is simply a work of fiction.  
> enjoy!

A fresh start... that’s what leaving the military was supposed  to mean.

But Dick supposed  once she sank her  claws into someone they  never  truly  let  go.

It felt like  no time  before  he was getting a call  back from an associate of his Buck Compton, a former  war buddy  with a job offer.

“It’s a government job Dick.  No front line” he said over the phone.

“Like a pencil pushing job? I don’t  know if that’s for me Buck” Dick replied uncertain.

“It’s not a desk job  Dick,   believe me it’s  for a organization  called S.H.I.E.L.D., Let  me  tell  you about it.”

Xxx

Dick sighed  as he stared at  his reflection,   he straightened his  tie,  fixed his  cuffs  and  examined  the tired expression  that stared at  him from  frazzled  blue eyes.

He wasn’t sure about  this...

Buck had  told him  next to nothing and simply  asked him to come. Dick Winters wasn’t the type of man  who could say no to  a man he had  fought along side.

 As  he knocked on Compton’s  office  he  was  greeted by  the man  a moment  later.“Dick Winters!” he  exclaimed with the  same  side smile that  Dick remembered. Gone  were  the tired  war  fatigues,   and  on  was a  elegant  black  suit. If  Dick  hadn’t know  Buck Compton  he wouldn’t have believed the man before him  had  ever  been to war.

At least from a initial glance. Under  further  inspection Dick saw a slight  tremor ran through his hand when he shook his hand and his body  was tensed like  a live wire despite his warm exterior.

As  he settled in his chair, Buck smiled at him “ thanks  for coming, I wasn’t sure you  would. “

“Well Buck I’ll be honest,  with all the  secrecy  around this  job   I had to at  least come  check  it out. So  this  branch  S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“strategic   homeland intervention,  enforcement  and logistics  division."

 Dick laughed despite  himself. "Less government talk  more human talk Buck”

 Buck nodded “very well,  we  work with the  government  to deal  with all things  that  are not of this world.”

Dick snorted “ so  what aliens?”

“Precisely” Buck said. Dick  kept  expecting him to crack a smile, give him a  jab in the  ribs,  but nothing... he was stone  faced. “Aliens  and all things supernatural including  those that we may   live alongside us.”

“ You’re pulling my  leg” Dick scoffed.

"I wish  I was”   Buck sighed  and pushed a file  that had been sitting in front  of him forward, “your mission”  the file  was slid over to Dick.

 As he opened it  he  was greeted by the black and white image of a man  with a shock of dark hair and  equally  expressive  eyebrows.

“Lewis Nixon” the  file read.

" Brilliant but  troubled” Compton resumed “ wealth  Yale  kid,  went off to the military, made a hell of an intelligence officer, saved  a majority of his platoon in a mission gone  weary, but  missed a  few, still  he was never  the same after that .” Compton sighed “ things  went down hill afterwards, the guilt  from that  failed mission got to him,  and unfortunately Nixon has a weakness  for the bottle."

Dick barely  registered  anything Buck  said,  as he  scanned the  file under  a title  in  bold  print which  read:

**Abilities:  telepathy, thought  manipulation, cerebral destruction.**

Says here he’s-“

“A telepath?  Yeah and  damn bloody good one” Compton  rubbed his neck “ in a room of 300  Nixon  can read  everyone’s  thoughts  and tell you what they had for breakfast it’s incredible but... I guess it  a lot to take  for  one man.”

“What’s  cerebral destruction?”

Buck suddenly  averted  Dick’s  gaze “ there’s a  reason that  we  exist Dick  and it’s because not  all these people despite  their best intentions  are safe  or always in  control. Nixon  is one  of  them, he’s been here in the  facility  for over a  year, working for us doing  small jobs, but  until  recently  we  realized he  could  play a bigger  role."

“And what would  I have to do  with this?”

“You would be his  coordinator, help him train,  work with  him  and help him see  that joining the  team we're  forming  is the best  thing  for him.”

“Will all  due respect  Buck but what makes you  think  I am the right  one  to work with Nixon sire? If  he is the handful that you say he is..."

“Because no other man comes with a higher reputation Winters, in no company  have all his men elected a Major  as the most brilliant man they’ve worked with. If anyone can reach Nixon it’s you.”

 “And if I can’t? What happens to him?”

Compton looked  grim “let’s just say  he has to get used to concrete walls.” The  two  lapsed into silence  as  Dick  glanced  at the scruffy man in the photo. Dick couldn’t  quiet place it but  there  was both this danger  and sadness  that  danced in  those eyes.

“I  think it’s best you met him, don’t you?”  Buck cut  into  his thoughts “  he’s just down the  hall,   shall we  major?”

Dick nodded. It had been a  while since someone used his military rank.

“ To protect  yourself blank mind if you can  Major, like a  the surface of a pond. Nixon can smell fear  and he  likes  fresh meat.”

 Xxx

A solider waited outside his door who quickly introduced himself as  Harry  who led  Dick down the hall; as they passed room after  room Dick was sure the hallway was becoming  darker, and the doors  thicker, till they at last came to an enclosed room, one glance  through the small  window saw it looked more  like a prison cell then anything- the walls were bare concrete and soundproof.

 And there sat the man in question, eyes closed as if meditating.  Same shock of black hair as his photo, but he looked  more grizzled, his  clean shaven look that gave him boyish charms  were  gone, now a scruffy stubble, he looked thinner, sickly and slightly pale.

Dick sighed  _here goes  everything_ and pushed the door open.

 The man,  Nixon didn’t  budge, eyes still firmly closed.

Dick cleared his throat.

“Richard Winters”  the man muttered “welcome to  my humble abode, sorry  I didn’t clean up for you.”

Dick froze.

_So it  was true._

“Of course it is.”  Nixon continued  “ don’t be afraid.”

 At last he opened his eyes  and Dick met those dark voids  of eyes that seemed to dissect  him, inch by inch as he  sat there. For a second, Dick felt his breath hitch lost in the gaze.

 Dick cleared his throat.

“Mr. Nixon  it’s a pleasure to meet you-“

“Please, Mr. Nixon was my  father, and believe me not a reputation I want to live up to.” Dick  had touched a nerve. Nixon’s eyes  danced  with a dark swirling nature.  And just as  quickly,  it was  gone.

“It’s Lewis  or Nixon. “

Dick nodded “very well.”

“Do you prefer Richard  or something else Major?”

“Richard is  fine, I-“ Dick froze. It  was  a question of uncertainty,  Nixon didn’t know  and before he could stop himself it tumbled out of his mouth “you don’t know..”

Nixon gave a sly half smile “well, well, well,  more then  just  a pretty face  are  we?  but don’t flatter yourself Major it’s  not that you’re brilliant at keeping your mind  blank. I for some reason can’t get a read on you.”

 He cocked his head, eyes bright “is  it possible you’re a freak just  like me?”

 The guard Harry, by the door cleared his throat and Nixon’s grin widened  but it was  dangerous more  like a wolf  and Dick shifted unnerved.

“Oh I am sorry I should use the proper term, meta-human. That’s what I am told  I am.  I am special and I am not a prisoner but you wouldn’t guess it hmm?”

 Dick nodded despite himself.

“No Major Winters you’re a curious man, I can’t read you, but you come in high regard; Compton thinks nothing but positively of you”. He paused as if listening to chatter some ways away “that’s a rare compliment from him.”

Dick felt his eyebrows rise “you found out about me through his thoughts?”

“Of course, thoughts are like footsteps Richard, some people step a lot harder than others. Compton has a fucking heavy step. Harry here” he motioned to the guard by the door

“Is lighter, but he just can’t seem to keep his mind on work today, seems his lady Kitty is giving him a special night tonight.”

Dick glanced at the boy and saw that he had gone bright pink.

 Nixon grinned giving him a wink “keep your mind on work you dog. She’s quite the catch though, you have a good night to look forward to.”

 Harry cleared his throat.

“Eh Harry how about a cigarette? I promise I won’t tell Major Winters here about-“

Harry threw the pack at Nixon.

“All right Lew Christ! you know you can just ask you don’t have to fuck around in my head.”

Nix  shrugged as he reached for his lighter and  Dick  couldn’t  help but notice the  slight shake in Nixon’s hand as he lit up.

 He watched the man savour breathing in the smoke and out through his nose.

“So what can I do for you Mr. Winters?”

Dick cleared his throat “Lewis, General Compton has asked you to consider the following.” He opened the portfolio and spread out the information in front of him.

 Lewis scanned the information before him before letting out a bark of laughter “you want me to be a fucking fed? No thank you. I served my country already and look where it got me.”

 He gestured to the room.

“It’s not the FBI Lewis” Dick said “It’s S.H.I.E.L.D., they specialize in dealing with the supernatural, the strange, the foreign the- “

“So you want as many freaks as you can get on your side before shit hits the fan hmm?”

 “I-“

“Did you look up Speirs yet?  If you want a freak with firepower he’s your man.”

“Mr. Speirs has already agreed to help” Harry piped up suddenly.

“Great that settles it; I am not joining if Speirs is there.”

“You don’t have many options Lewis, it’s either this or...”

“Or what?” Nixon whispered “I’ve been locked in this damn building for close to two years, It’s already a living hell what could possibly make it any worse? I’ll  take my chances  thanks” the last half of his sentence  came out  as a snarl,  at his words  Dick pulled back with a grunt, it felt like someone had given him a good punch to his temple,  he  jerked back at the sudden pain.

  When Dick looked up he saw that Lewis had gone pale. It was looking at the expression on Lewis’s face he knew it was his doing.

“Jesus Christ Richard I am sorry!”  He stammered “I-I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine” Dick muttered rubbing at his head, he could feel the growing onslaught of a headache forming there.

“I guess you don’t know you’re own strength huh?” he tried to smile at the other man but felt that Lewis’ swagger had disappeared, his eyes downcast. He looked suddenly young and afraid.

 Richard felt pity tug at his heart. This man was terrified of what he could do and hurting others.

“I am sorry” Lewis muttered quietly.

Dick shook his head “don’t be, it was an accident, Lewis look at me.”

Lewis did slowly “I swear to you, that if you work with us, I will get you out of here and you won’t have to be afraid of yourself anymore.” He smiled weakly “alright?”

 There was a pause as Lewis mulled over his answer “Alright.  I am trusting you Richard Winters.”

 Dick smiled and reached his hands across the table to take his hands, but the other man retreated. He still didn’t have Lewis’ full trust yet, and that was alright... They would grow to it.

“I’ll do my best Lewis Nixon.”

 As he stepped out of the room  he wasn’t surprised to find Buck  Compton standing there  “I assume  it’s safe to say  you’re with us?”

 Dick smiled “you must be a mind reader.”

Xxx

 Over the next while, Dick Winter’s world was turned upside down, Lewis was small on the scale of things being seen.

 The first person he met was  Ronald Speirs.

Particularly, he showed up at the S.H.IE.L.D. training  facility to find a man not only holding fire in the palm of his hand but create it, out of thin air.

 Winters  couldn’t help but stare in awe as the man threw these fire creations of his like daggers  to a dart  board across the room.

“Not your average  job is it?” a voice broke in.

Winters turned to find another man there, on the shorter side, he had kind eyes, a lazy smile  and short cropped hair, a small scar  marred his cheek  that  started from the side of his nose.

Dick shook his head  “I heard  rumours but  I-“ he  glanced  back at Speirs  who was now  creating  what appeared to be a spiraling  dragon out of  flames.

“Didn’t  imagine it would be  quiet like this.”

The other man smiled “ you’re new  here huh? New coordinator?”

Dick nodded.

“Well  welcome, I am Lip” he extended his hand.

Dick shook his hand “Lip?”

“Carwood Lipton but  everyone just calls me Lip.” He  gestured backwards  “and  hot shot there is Ronald Speirs.”

“I am Dick,  Dick Winters. I am the new coordinator for Lewis Nixon.”

For a second he thought  he saw concern flit across Lipton’s features, but it was  quickly  gone.

“Uh, well brainiac there isn’t up yet.”

Dick glanced at his watch, it was  almost ten.

 Lip shrugged “ get used to it Dick,  Nix’s  room is that  way”  he pointed down the hall “welcome to  S.H.I.E.L.D. Dick”

Dick thanked him, and  made his way to a smallish room that looked like a tornado hit it, it  reeked of alcohol, which made Dick grimace. And  there was the man of the hour, sprawled out on his  bed clearly a restless  sleeper, his sheets  crumpled around him. His brow was creased in concentration and his hands  clenched and unclenched in his sheets.

Dick made his way around the piles and  once   beside him put a gentle hand on his shoulder “ up  and  at ‘em Nix” he muttered.

Big mistake.

 Nixon let out a startled gasp  shooting up in bed  and  for a second Dick felt  an almighty crushing pressure that seemed to come from the  inside of his  head  and crushing outwards. He  back peddled into the wall clutching his head.

Dick snarled “Nix,  Nix’  it’s me!  It’s Winters!”

  As quickly as the pressure  came, it was  gone, and a wide eyed Nix stared at him from bed.

“Richard?”  he managed.

“Hiya Nix.”

“What are you doing in here?”

"I came to wake you, you didn’t look like you were  sleeping well.”

Nix let out a bitter laugh “ yeah, I don’t sleep well these  days.”

“Iam sorry “ Dick began “I learned not poke the  bear very quickly.”  He gave a half hearted smile “ get  dressed I’ll meet you outside.”

Nix mumbled incoherently.

“Oh and Nix?”

“mmm?”

“Tomorrow if you’re not out of bed by 8:30 I will hand your ass  to you personally.”

He heard Nix grumbling as he walked down the hallway and  despite himself, Dick laughed.

Xxx

Watching Nix train was incredible, he  watched from behind two way glass as the man answered puzzle after flawless puzzle, at how he was able to change a persons’ thoughts with a little nudge, able to make them see things that weren’t there and more  disturbing able to kill a man by crushing  them from the  inside out.

He was a powerhouse.

 Both  fascinating  and terrifying.

 And over the following weeks that came, it   was a jumble of chaos, when he wasn’t help Nix train his abilities mentality, he was training him physically, sparing, weapons, though his military background helped.

He  and Nix had  developed an early morning  jogging routine  which seemed  one of the only  times Nix was  truly at peace. He  ran and  sang old war tunes  to himself  while Dick trailed  behind. Dick   taught him how  to box, and  Nixon  taught how to better  read people in poker  games  as they engaged in  almost  nightly  games against Speirs  and Lip.

They  even ate their meals  together.

Dick's spare time was spent learning about S.H.I.E.L.D. and  training Nix in the art of meditation to help his control.

Nix had lousy control, when it slipped, things  went downhill  fast;  his morale dipped and it led to quiet nights shoved in his room with a bottle he had scored lord knows where.

"So how do you  and  Speirs  know  each other?" Dick asked  Lip  one  night  as  they shared a  quiet  dinner- Speirs and Nix were training each other, small  recon missions  as  they  hid around  the compound  and tried to take one another  by surprise- .

"I knew  Ronald since I was  still a  agent in training and he was a  still locked up in maximum  security."

Dick felt his  eyebrows  raise in surprise "that long?""

 Lip nodded "yeah everyone was  convinced he was  an animal,  not able to relate  to his fellow person,  more beast then man- he was going to spend his life  rotting in there  until I convinced Buck  I could  get through to him. He gave me one   chance and-" he shrugged "- the rest is history."

"He  trusts you with all his heart." Dick murmured "I  can feel it."

 Lip laughed " you're a big  romantic softie  aren't you  Winters?  yeah me and  Speirs  have quite the  history." he smiled into the rim of his  cup.

" and Nix?  how  well do you known him?"

 Lip shook his  head  "Nix is  quite the enigma  Dick  I'll  be honest. He's got a g good heart,  wants  to be wanted, but he never let's  anyone  in. He's cunning,  I still don’t know how he manages to get booze in here”  he grumbled "that kid’s  a silver tongue, he just needs to drop the hint of suggestion and it’s game over.” Lip fumbled in his pocket and removed a pack of smokes.

“Look at this, “  he nodded to the pack “I gave up smoking  six months  or so ago, on the  day before I swore I would  never touch one of these things, Nix saunter’s up  and just casually says “ Lip make sure to bring the smokes next time. I of course  give him a look and tell him what garbage is the boy talking  about and a second  after he shoots me one of those smiles he’s gone."

  Lip  sighs "And like a trained monkey I’ve been bringing a pack of smokes to work for six months."

Winters  can’t help but laugh  at Lip’s frustration  and  Nix’s  cunning.

Xxx

When did you  realize you were different  from others  boys?”

Dinner  conversation.

Dick knew  if he was  going to be  Nix’s  go –to  man he had to  know the man.

“ Seven. Something started going wrong because people’s words wouldn’t match those coming  out of their mouths” he  gave a small side  smile but it was sad.“ It became difficult,  doctors  couldn’t figure out was  wrong,  no one wanted to be  friends with  the freak  who could predict what people would  say. It  went like  that  for many  years; till  at last around  high school I started  getting a handle on the control, I  did  well in school,  learned how to distinguish between  people’s  thoughts and their voices, but I never  quite got the handle of making the voices go away.”

"Are they  with you  now?"

" Let's  put it  this way Dick" he  said around his after dinner  cigarette "I  don't  remember a  time  before  it anymore."

Winters felt his  heart ache  for the man in front  of him,  at a loss for  words he slid his hands across the table and much to his surprise, Nix grabbed on to them like a drowning man, and the two simply sat like the for awhile enjoying each other’s company.

Xxx

 First mission out for Speirs and Nixon.

Nothing difficult a recruiting of all things.

Still everyone is tense.  And for the most part people are scared of Nix and Speirs equally.

 With Nix they are  afraid of what he knows and his slip ups, with Speirs well... they were just afraid.

Nix and Speirs had some unspoken code between the two of them-  Nix  didn’t  dip into Speirs  thoughts  and Speirs didn’t  turn Nix into a lump of coal.

 Though there  seemed to be some wiggle room, Nix went into the other man’s  head  when he couldn’t  find where Lip had  put his  cigarettes or where  his next bottle would come from and in  return, Speirs  would literally set Nix’s  pants ablaze.

Nix told Dick he  didn’t like going into Speirs' mind much.

“Why does he have good defenses?” Dick asked one morning over breakfast.

Nix  smiled “no that’s not it,  his mind is like a Chinese finger trap.”

Dick cocked his head in confusion.

“Easy  as hell to get into, but  once  you’re in there  bam!”  he    slammed his hands down on the table “ he traps  you in there,  last time I rooted around in there I almost got stuck there permanently”   he  shuddered at the thought.

Dick stared in wonder   and couldn’t  help but jump a little  as hand  came down on his  shoulder. It was Speirs.

“it’s  your big  day Major Winters”  he rumbled.

Dick nodded  almost shyly "sure is."

“I  hope  Lew here  hasn’t  been telling stories  about me.”

“No  Ronald” Dick  said  quietly.

“Well that’s too  bad”  Speirs said with  a sly smile   “cause  it’s all true”.

Lew couldn’t  help but cackle at the  shocked look  on Dick’s  face.

Xxx

Lewis  and Nixon went on their first mission and  didn’t turn up empty  handed.

They call him Luz.

George Luz.

Who was as about Meta human as  they come,  his mutation was not easy to hide  as  his  peers- he had an enormous pair of of Wings, like an eagle, and talons  to match.  Equipped  with amazing sight and  strength he was a  force to be reckoned with, With Lewis’s help they had picked Luz up in New  York attacking people by night and mugging  them.

No one  would believe it was a  giant bird man.

 The boy was not evil, just desperate to survive and  with a home and a place  to roost  so to  speak,    Dick  was sure Luz would prove  himself  to be as  noble  and proud  as his bird like abilities.

He  and Lewis  seemed  to connect  right away, Luz's snapping humour  as  quick as a bird of prey   kept  them in stitches, especially Lew.  The two seemed to come to a quick mutual  agreement and  allowed  each other past barriers that others didn’t; it became obvious when one or the other  would  burst into laughter  for no reason  and one would know there  was a  hidden  discussion  going on  between them.

Luz ‘s  greatest  flaw however, was that  his emotions  often  go the best of him and his wild thoughts  were  sometimes  too much for  Lewis.

 There  were  flaws in Nixon’s  ability  as  Dick would soon learn

xxx

 On the trip back from  new York  Winters  begin to see the pit fall  of Lewis’s ability...

 As Lewis spent the majority of the trip  back to base hung over a toilet.

“Lew?”  despite himself  Dick had fallen into the habit  of calling him  such and  the other  man looked up pale  and  shaky.

“Hey Richard”  he managed  with a cocky smile,  but  Lewis   looked awful.

“ You alright?”

“Just motion sickness and that hot dog , I knew  I  shouldn’t  trust  street meat.”

 “Well-“ Lew looked suddenly green  as he turned and lost the contents  of his stomach again, he lay there  dry heaving as Dick ran comforting hands  on his back.

“It’s alright Dick I can  handle it” Lew  muttered miserably.

 Dick froze “ what did you say?”  if possible  Lewis paled more  "You called  me Dick...”

 Lew  froze “ I must have plucked it out of  someone’s  mind I am sorry I-”

 “It’s  alright  Lew I don’t  mind” he  smiled and the other man smiled grateful, before he  felt ill again. Dick left him, closing the door behind him only  to almost  bump into  Speirs.

“Apologies  Major”  he grunted as  he looked over Dick’s shoulder. “How’s  Nix?” he questioned.

“Still  feeling sick, I didn’t know  he  got  motion  sick.”

 Speirs looked at him  suddenly  bemused.

“what’s so funny Ronald?” Dick  asked

“He’s not motion  sick  Major,  he’s overwhelmed he can’t deal with so many people’s thoughts, his body  is having a small breakdown, it happens he just can’t cope.  Its  like  suffocating on the inside,  being so  full of other people’s thoughts Think of it as  whiplash  for telepaths-  New  York does  that to some people."

 Dick suddenly  felt  a little  nauseous   himself “this  has happened  before?”

 Speirs nodded pulling  out a cigarette  and lighting it off his finger “ yup in Chicago, he’ll  be out of commission for a day or two. It’s a good thing he can’t read you, you might be the best thing that happened to him, for the rest of us, it means  toning our thoughts down. Especially  Luz.”  He smiled then pat Dick on  the arm   gently.

“Keep an eye on him, we’ll steer clear.”

Xxx

Speirs was right.

Xxx

 Winters begins  to see  why Nixon has preference  for the  bottle, as one night  he  finds him  slumped  at  the table,   two empty  bottles of vat  69 by  him.

“Nix?” he prods the man awake.

 The man shoots up, startled “ mmmm  Dick?”  he slurs.

“Yeah Nix it’s me, what are you doing?”

“ I couldn’t shut  them up tonight” the man  mutters bitterly “I tried, and  I tried but” he rams his fist to his forehead “ they won’t  shut up, they never  shut up. Always thinking, always...” he breaks off into a hysterical  laugh.

“big  bad meta human  can’t even fucking  hold his  shit together ... pathetic.”

“Nix...”

 Nix looked at him through  bleary  eyes  “ you   know why I drink Dick?  Besides  enjoying it?”

 Dick shook his head.

“ It’s because  for a few hours, just a few hours  I can get the voices out  of my head, I don’t have to think  of the men  I failed,  or  the fact  that I am a fuck up who can’t control my  powers I can just be numb. You know  what I wish for more  than anything?”

Dick shakes his head, mute.

“Quiet, god  for  quiet , when  I am  dead I hope it’s  quiet. “

“Nix don’t  talk like that.”

“Nix gaze flits to him  as if seeing him for the  first time “ and then there is you Dick Winters, I can’t read  you  for shit and it’s  beautiful, you’re  ... my peace.”  Before  Dick  could stop him  Nix had  grabbed by  his lapels  and dragged him down  beside him,  and  he placed his forehead  to Dick’s.

“ You’re  a mystery to me Dick Winters”  he murmured“And I love you for it, and I want you to be  my mystery to unwrap.”  he gently placed a  chaste  kiss on Dick’s forehead.

 And in that  instant  Dick got  flashes, of  a lonely  boy from a wealthy family   scared  of  the  ability  he had, of going to   privileged  school and finally going  to the army, of leading a platoon  with men  he was  closer  with then  brothers     and of the  disaster  that   befell  them,  of losing  all control of his abilities  and killing as  many men as he could with his  mind. It  was  terrifying and mesmerizing  all at once.

He got flashes  too, of other peoples thoughts  too, but it swirled in his mind like  a hurricane.

 Dick pulled back  gasping for  breath, he  felt like he had  been released from being held underwater.

“Dick!”

But Dick sat there blankly.

“Dick?” Lew’s  trembling  hand  reached  for his , but this  time Dick  retreated,  he  regretted his action as Lewis looks crushed.

“I am sorry” he muttered.

 “Lew is that what  it’s like in your head all  the time?” Lewis nodded.

If Dick  was  being honest, he was terrified, such  immense  power,  to control,  to destroy...  It  was  too  much for one  man. _I need  to get out,  I need  to get away_. he  thought.

  “Dick I didn’t  mean to make you  see those things I-“

Dick shook his head  “Please Nix, Iam  really tired  I...” Dick retreated  “make sure you’re sober  for the morning Nix.”

 _Don't do this  please_ Nix  begged him in his  mind _I need you, I-"_

_"Don't be a fool Winters he needs you  and you need  him  don't  run away  don't-_

But it  was too late

And In  a  flash  Dick Winters  was  gone, leaving the only man  who truly  needed him sitting there to wallow in his mistake.

Xxx

As  quickly as things  had been built  they  tumbled down... in the  time  that Dick  had broken Nix’s  exterior  shell and got him to improve himself and be a valuable asset to  S.H.I.E.L.D.

 He had sent it tumbling down.

 Nix retreated into himself, hardly speaking to anyone. He still continued to train  but his  slip ups  seemed to come  more  frequently,  his sleep  more  restless,  as  dark  circles  hung under his  eyes.

 Dick sighed as he  sat up late  one night.  Luz , Speirs  and Nix  were  going  into the field tomorrow to collect some alien  device.

He  rubbed  at his forehead in  frustration,  he  had pushed Nix away and it was his  fault.

  "Late night  Major? " A voice   startled   Dick as it  cut into his thoughts, he had been  thinking   once again of what he  had seen in Nix’s mind.

“Hmm  oh Lip” the other coordinator  pulled himself onto a chair next to him.

“how  are  the boys doing?”  he asked

“Speirs  and Luz  are asleep, your kid is  too, though he doesn’t look too well.”

  They fell into silence.

“Dick...”   he began  “did something  happen  between  you two?  With your  training that boy had opened up  and  showed more  discipline then I’d seen in forever.”

 Dick  grunted in agreement.

"In fact  you  both were improving."

Dick looked up confused 

"Buck told me  about you and the war, best leader a man could ask for, but after the war  you shut  the world  out- people didn't see you  for months and  when they did  it was like  talking to a  shadow there was  that  fake  war time  personality  what is it  they say?  no flaws,  no vices, no sense of humour."

Dick flinched.

“So what the  hell happened?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit." Lip dead panned

"you aren't fooling me Dick Winters, I may not have served with you, but Buck told me you were more  open  during the war then you are now and you know what? he's right . You listen to people but you  never tell them anything about you."

Dick was  silent.

"Like  who the hell is Dick Winters? No one knows."  Lip sighed "  as for Lew, he went back  into lock down mode,  if not worse than before , he’s not much different  then  when he came to us after  the  war.”

 Dick  let out a frustrated long  suffering  sigh  “It’s  my fault   alright? He  showed me- mind you unwillingly parts of himself and  he got in  my  head and  I got ...”

“scared?” Lip injected.

Dick  nodded “ yeah”

Lip smiled  at that and  then broke into a chuckle.

“what’s  so funny?” Dick muttered that boiling anger that looked like it was going to erupt out of him, was gone.

“ Oh Dick  for  such a  great leader  you sure are not seeing the  full picture."

“what do you mean?”

“He’s more scared  of you  then  you are of him”  Lip  continued "Dick he’s gone through his  whole life being able  to know what everyone thinks,  everyone  feels  and then this guy walks into his  life,  and he’s  blank,  he’s white  noise  do you know what  that must feel like?”

“horrible...”

“The kid has been milling around here  trying to get  as much  information on you  as he can,   he’s even taken some  unsavory  trips into Speir’s   head  for Christ  sake..,. Dick...

He likes  you,  he really does-"

Dick felt something inside flutter at that.

"-he’s just so used to people turning away from him, don't be another one of those  he's had so many...Let him in Dick... share with  him let him see  you..."

 Dick nodded

 "You’ll see what he can do..."

Xxx

However the universe   did not   seem willing to  let  Dick Winters  let  Lewis Nixon get to know him.

 In  fact,  it seemed intent on taking the man out of his life  completely.

 It seemed  like simple  enough mission.

Collecting  an 804  it should have  been  easy...

  And  it  was, they found the  object a small hovering  black box,  while  Winters, Lip  and Compton watched   from a  base   they had  set up in abandoned  building not that   far  away. They had  even set up a medial and  science wing.

   The mission  had been  deemed  too dangerous  for normal agents  much to Dicks’ annoyance,  he hated watching events play out  over small video screens.

“ we can play with the big boys but not that Big  “ Buck muttered with a small smile.

 Dick frowned.

“804  secured” came Speirs  voice  through the com.

“everything good  boys?” Buck questioned.

“peachy”  came Luz reply he sounded less then amused  to be out there.

“ well  let’s not tempt  fate  hmm? Let’s bring you boys  back.”

“ Nixon  copies.”

“Luz copies.”

Speirs  copies,  and captain?”

“mmm?”

“i don’t mind tempting the devil all too much.”

 Dick  could  hear that smug  grin across the connection and  he rolled his eyes at Lip.

“Well don’t dance with the devil too long or-“

“Take cover!”  came Nix’s  frantic  cry   and   explosion rocked the shaky image,  the men winced as the speaker crackled and  they watched on horror  as one by one the screens  went  black.

 They were  left in   silence.

 Dick’s  eyes  found Carwood’s  who were  equally surprised.

“Nix  we lost  visual  do you copy?”

 They could hear the sound  of heavy foot  falls  and panting  breaths and the raining of bullets.

“ Nix, I  repeat we lost  visual contact  do you copy?"

 Nothing.

 Then the noise  dropped out.

“Speirs do  you copy?  What the fuck is happening out there?"

“Luz goddamn it you winged bastard answer” Buck growled.

“Nix  do you hear me?”  the silence  was  deafening.

 They sat waiting as the seconds passed  sluggishly by...

 One minute

 Two 

three

five...

nothing.

“Speirs  goddamn it”  Lip growled “if you  don’t  respond  I-”

  The  speaker  crackled.

“You  don’t have to finish that  though  Boss,  I know you too well."

 Dick  and Lip exchanged a relieved   glance.

“Speirs what the hell happened?”

  "We  were ambushed captain,  but they’ve been  dealt with, the 804- is secured but-“

Still  the nagging feeling   In Dick chest persisted,  apparently Lip felt it too.  “Ronald what’s wrong?” he questioned.

“Nixon  has been hit  sir.”

 Dick felt like someone had punched  him in  the  gut.  His blood turned cold.

“How bad is the  damage?” Dick cut in  trying to keep his voice  calm and under  control.

“Major Winters, good  to hear  your  voice" Speirs  replied.

“How  bad is it Speirs?”

 Speirs  sighed “ he took  three shots  on the shoulder,  one to the leg  and one to the  chest/”

 Dick  tried to hold back the tremble that  was beginning in his hand.

_No..._

"I went  ahead and cauterized his leg wound, he was losing too much blood.”

 Dick nodded and then realized he couldn’t be seen  and Lip cut in “ great  work  Speirs,  you did  good.”

 “How did it happen?” Dick manged  finding his voice again.

“He sensed some  asshole who was coming  from  behind and jumped   before  neither me  or Luz  could do anything.”

Dick winced. “Shit" he rasped.

“With your permission  Compton sir,  requesting backup first aid.”

“It’s on it’s  way Speirs, just hang tight.”

“I will  Major I-“

 Speirs was cut off then by a horrible  sound, it was the high pitched  gagging  noise of a man’s chest cavity  trying to fill with  air and succeeding  in only pumping in blood. There  was no worse    fate  then the body turning against it’s owner as it tried to proceed naturally  and in Dick’s  experience, no worse noise.

 The gasps  were  frantic “we’re losing him!” a  voice  came from the background “fuck Speirs  he’s slipping!”

Dick felt his breath  catch in his throat.

“Speirs I need  you here now!  “  Luz  cried “ Lew please I need  you to calm down, please it will be okay” Dick  heard the  boy call.

 And then the line went  dead.

“Fuck”  Compton swore.  “fuck ,  fuck fuck!”

 Silence  hung  heavily in the room “ Well  what are  you  waiting  for? You heard Speirs  let’s   get it  together  move  out!” Buck  barked.

  The room was  suddenly  buzzing  with movement  but for  Dick   he  wasn't  taking any of the chaos  around him in,  all he could hear  was  the   noise of Nix’s gasping  attempts  at  breath that  rang in  his ears.

  Dick was unsure how long he sat  there  until a  hand  came down on his  shoulder, he looked up  and  found a concerned  looking  Carwood Lipton.

“He’ll be okay Dick we  got this under  control.”   He squeezed  his shoulder  but the  smile  he  tried to give  to strengthen Dick  was  sad.

“ You just  wait  here  a minute I’ll let  you know  when they arrive.”

 Dick nodded  as he  sat there numbly time  seemed to lose  it’s meaning and  soon  Harry was  beside him with a steaming cup of  tea  and a peaceful words of reassurance.

His waiting  was cut  short  as  Lip  returned the room.

 "They’re here" he murmured, he pulled Dick into the hallway as  the doors  burst open  and doctors  clustered around a  gurney came into view.“He’s flat lining!” a  doctor called,  and Dick washed in horror as they pushed  a gurney  with the pale  and  bleeding form of  Lewis Nixon down the  hallway.

Dick  started after them as they disappeared into the operating room.

 Lip brought him back to the  present  as he wrapped a  comforting arm around his shoulder.

“He  can do it, he’s  tougher  then he looks.”

 Dick  had  still not found his words  so settled for a nod.

 There  was the  squeaking of doors, and then the shambling forms  of Speirs  and Luz entered. In any other  non-war circumstance  Dick would have probably laughed, because at first glance, it looked like the two had been vigorously  finger painting. It  was  smeared all over Speirs’ pants  and some was splattered on his face  as if he had been touched. On Luz it was all over his chest  and his hands looked like  they had been dip dyed, even his  feathers were smeared in it. Yes, it would have been  different  if  he didn’t  realize  that  was Nix’s blood.

 Dick couldn’t help it, a  ragged hysterical noise  that  was maybe a laugh  emerged from his throat.

“Major, it’s alright  Nix is one of the strongest men I know,” Speirs  said  gently seeing the panic that was  rising in Dick and threatening to eat him alive.

 Gentleness  was not necessarily  something that  was easy  for Speirs so  Dick  was grateful.

“he’s a survivor major, don’t forget that".

Xxx

At first Dick had  paced relentlessly, time lost its meaning as seconds felt like hours, hours like days. Eventually he sat down, Luz on one side and Lip on the other.

“Major I think you should know, that Lewis thought highly of you." Luz ventured.

 Dick  looked up startled  as if he had  been slapped “ he did?”

“Yes,  he had nothing but good things to say, he admires you highly sir.”

 Dick nodded, his  heart was in his throat, his tongue felt  heavy  so he simply settled for nodding.

 Luz’s hand found his shoulder "You've heard this alot but believe me when I tell you that you haven't seen the last of Lewis Nixon."

 Dick smiled weakly, "God I hope you're right."

 Time passed sluggishly by, Luz had gone to get food, and  around  hour seven  the bat wing doors swung open and the group were at the doctors side in a heartbeat, Eugene   Roe was smeared in blood which made  Dick's insides squirm and feel ill.

Dick  waited with baited  breath till at last  Eugene said "he made it through the operation."

He head the happy collective  gasp from the group, but for him it felt like someone had let the air back into the room.

"However  Lewis isn't in the clear quite yet" Doc continued "as you might imagine a shot to the chest is no laughing manner, not only does he have several broken ribs,but  breathing will be difficult and painful for a long time to come. it still unclear whether this will effect his long  term  breathing. As for his shoulder and leg, they were clean shots and saved thanks to Mr.Speirs and Mr.Luz quick thinking.

Dick managed to find his voice " can we see him now?" he rasped.

 "Give the nurses some time to settle him and then yes Mr. Winters, He's all yours."

xxx

Time seemed against Dick .

It crawled at a  snails pace, so much so that Dick thought it was going backwards, when they got the okay Dick walked rapidly to the  room, but one glance at the figure in the bed and he felt the pit of his stomach fall away.

 Seeing Nix was hard It didn’t look like him... The form was small and fragile, Unable to breathe on his own, multiple tubes  ran from his body and bare cotton sheets pulled up till his chest to hide his ugly fresh wounds. Nix looked translucent by comparison to his  bed  spread.

 There was the constant beep of the heart monitor to remind Dick he was alive and electrons stuck to his temples “why does he have those?” Dick  asked.

“He’s meta human” Roe cut in “ we don’t know what differences he may be going through so I need to monitor him closely.”

“May I sit with him?”

Roe nodded “but of course, he could use some company.” Lip helped him as he all but staggered and fell into the chair, clutching and grasping at Nix’s hand like a drowning man. Nix’s fingers were ice cold and unresponsive.

"When will he wake up?” Dick managed weakly. Doc  gave his shoulder a light  squeeze “That, Major Winters is something no medical professional can tell you, right now it is up to Lewis to find his way.”

Xxx

Things didn’t seem to work that way though .

Not by a long shot.

 By Roe’s definition Nix was hell bent on giving up on them. During the late afternoon the machines at Nix’s side began to scream and shrill frantically much to the dismay of the men who sat at his bed side.

“Lew? Lew!” Dick tightened his grip on his hand “Lew what’s wrong?” Nix had gone stiff beside him, his eyes moving restlessly under his eyelids.

Roe rushed back into the room, where he gently pushed Dick aside and began to examine him, checking Lewis' heart rate which was climbing rapidly and his brain activity was spiking alarmingly.

“Damn it I was afraid of this” Roe muttered.

“what the hell is wrong?”

“ Lewis’ telepathy despite him not being conscious is still working strong, there are too many thoughts going on in this building it’s causing him stress which may send him into shock.Gentleman I need you to leave, Lewis needs as much space as possible If we’re to lower this.”

Buck, Luz and Lip and Speirs were quick to do so. But Dick remained stubbornly there. “Dick please I need to-“

“I think I can help Doc please.”

“Doc hesitated “what did you have in mind?”

"I well..” Dick sighed “it’s easier to show you” hesitantly, Dick approached Nix’s bedside. The man looked in pain, his brow creased and beaded with sweat , his lips moving soundlessly. Dick took a deep breath in _here goes everything ... again_ he thoughtas he lowered his head so that his forehead rested against Lewis’. Dick closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on reaching Nix.

 _“Lew?_ " He thought as hard as he could, he heard nothing.. then... a voice ran around him.

_"too much too much..."_

_"Lew is that you?"_

_Make it stop  please! make it stop they wont go away!_

The  voice sounded pained and terrified  beyond  belief _,_ It  broke Dick's  heart to hear him  beg for  mercy. _"Lew it’s me it’s Dick I need you to calm down you’re going to hurt yourself."_

_"Too loud, too many, I can’t I can’t-“_

_"Lew I am here, please... “_ Dick pleaded He was starting to feel suffocated in the thoughts and his heart ached for Nix if this is what he went through all the time. He pushed ahead  regardless “ _Nix I need you to listen, you are safe. You’re in a hospital, you were injured but Speirs and Luz saved you. You’re out of  harm now_ ” he paused

" _I am here for you, I am here with you Lew...”_ His voice dropped off as he waited. The buzzing panic seemed to subdue a bit, a stammering voice echoed out of the din

_“D-dick?”_

“Y _eah Lew it’s me.”_

“ _H-how are we speaking right now?”_

_“It’s not important alright. Right now I need you to relax. You’re going to hurt yourself worse, if you don’t calm down.”_

_“I cant- there’s too much I-“_

_“Focus on me Lew”._

_“How?”_

_“Iam with you here, focus on me, I wont leave you. I will never  leave your side, I promise.” I-I need you  to  trust me I know that's hard but please.. Lew-”_

But before Dick could hear his answer his eyes snapped open Eugene retreated from his side “Dick what happened?”

“I spoke with Lew I told him to focus on me I-“

He looked at Eugene    fear  eating away at him  from the  inside“how is he?”

Eugene gave a weak smile " You were away from this  world  for a while but  whatever you  did Winters it worked.... Well I’ll be damned."

Xxx

“Dick are you still going to be here for a bit longer?” Buck asked he Lip and Speirs had gotten up to head home for the day. The sun had started to set on their long trying day.

“Yes just a while more” he managed he didn’t say what was truly on his mind _Iam terrified of what will happen if I leave him, that he’ll give up._

Speirs and Lip exchanged a nervous glance but said nothing “make sure to get some rest Major and tell Nix to  get his  ass back to us ASAP” Buck said Dick gave a small grateful smile “will do sir.”

The men were soon gone leaving Dick still clinging to his hand.

“Lew? You there?”

Silence.

He sighed. “Look Lew I-“ he paused “I wanted to say I am sorry alright. When you reached out to me I-“ “I froze and I’ve never met anyone quite like you and I was scared and-“ his words stuttered out “I am sorry Lew, I truly am, but right now I need you to do something for me.” He tightened his grip on Nix’s limp hand. “I need you to wake up okay? I need you to wake so I-“ His words seemed to dry up in his throat as he swallowed uneasily “So I can tell you all about me.”

Slowly he brought Lewis’ hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

 Still  there  was  silence.

 Dick gave a quiet sigh "alright  Lew  how  should  I start?" he laughed  despite himself  " well  let's  start at the beginning, I  was  born in Ephrata  Pennsylvania..."

xxx

  The  darkness  was  welcoming.

 Lew  would  be the  first to say that he was surprised at how reluctant he was leave it. As a  man who had  grown up in the light,  of knowing too much about his surroundings, the unknown had  always  terrified him.

That was until  he met  Dick  Winters.

  Reaching out  and finding Darkness  on Dick's  behalf  had been  frustrating...but unlike other  brushes  with the unknown, Lewis  surprised himself and didn't  retreat  rather  he pressed on blind through the dark,  and in an attempt to clear that  darkness he opened himself up in ways he  didn't  think was possible.

 Dick Winters.

 As  he lay in the  dark he thought of the last  he had  seen  of the handsome man as he locked  eyes  with him across the room in the mission briefing. For  that moment  time  lost it's  meaning as he had  started into those blue  depths. Wondering who would  break the  gaze  first...  and then out  of  fear  of maybe  knowing too much, or showing too much  he  broke their  gaze.

The moment  ended.

 and time  resumed.

 And the next thing he  recalled  was the thud  of impact,  his  hands  coming away   red  as  he touched  his chest, and  falling...  and  hearing  voices  shout his name  as the  darkness  came in.

 And that was  that.

 At least he thought.

 The  next  awakening  was  not as pleasant.

 He would have screamed had he  been able to, but the pain robbed him of his voice, he  could only   take shuddering  breaths  as he  fought off the  crushing pressure as the voices  began to pile  up. First it was one... Then  ten,  then  a hundred.

All Nix could do was roll into himself in the  dark and  pray that the waves of pain  that pounded him would eventually  stop.

_Please... Too much.. Please..._

And then someone heard him.

 who else but  Dick Winters.

  _I am here with you Lew  I am not leaving just trust me..._

He did  from the  beginning he just wanted Dick to  trust him...  maybe  even to  love him  back...

_Trust me._

_I do._ Lewis  thought. _With all my heart._

_Because when everyone saw only what I was, you  saw me._

_xxx_

Fighting  his way back to the land of the living was  not a  pretty journey.

As Lewis tried to open his  eyes,  the  seriousness of his aching body, hit  him like a freight  train. His chest was on fire, and every breath shook  and  rattled his body and sent tremors  of  pain through him.

Despite himself a whimper escaped his throat as his eyes adjusted to the  dimly lit room. He  was unsure  of  much  except that  there was a warm comforting weight in his hand.

Slowly he turned and was  greeted by something he thought he would  never  see. There, by his  side, hand firmly laced in his  was Dick Winters. Clearly asleep, his form leaned forward precociously, one arm wrapped around himself for support the other in Lew's.  The man looked exhausted, dark circles  hung under his eyes, his  bright ginger  hair  was mused  and  greasy  and his  shield work clothes wrinkled. Under closer inspection Lew could see that Dick was  even drooling in his slumbering state.

This  brought a smile  to  his lips.  A S.H.I.E.L.D.  agent  drooled in his sleep. priceless.

" D-Dick" he  managed.

His throat  felt  raw, it hurt and came out  as nothing more  then a whisper.

  When this didn't work. he tightened his grip on Dick's hand.  As a  former solider sleep still didn't come  easy, for  Dick it was the  same- and so the lightest of touches had him jolting awake.

The man blinked blearily as he looked around the room before his gaze fell on Lewis and found those two deep dark eyes locked on him.

"Nix?" He managed,  a  sickly sweet  amount of desperation  clung to his words.

Lew nodded "hi Dick-k"

 Dick tightened his  grip blue eyes  glossy with unshed  tears, " I thought I  lost  you and I didn't get to tell you that-"

"I k-know"   Nix managed.

Dick started puzzled " I thought you couldn't"

"I can't but Dick..."

the other man's gaze  stood firmly fixed on his.

"me too" Nix managed. _I feel the same way too._

 Before  Nix could react Dick had had leaned in and pressed his lips to his, the kiss was tender, unsure about what it was doing but  at the same time it brimmed with happiness. Dick laughed  between kisses and his tears  became  those of joy that ran  down his face, a joy of being able to feel that warmth, to  share their breath as those lips kissed lightly down his neck and then made their way  back up  and breathe life  into the dead once again.  As their lips pressed together it was like a million lives  flitted between them, memories and images,  faces and places.

When they pulled  back at last,  Nix felt dazed.

"Iam sorry  I-" he managed feeling like a child, his powers out of control.

but he was surprised when Dick's lips found his again "never apologize  for who you are" he managed  "i am with you, always" he  gasped the words  to Lewis between long kisses, _always_ a words they passed from mouth to mouth as those calloused  fingers ran through Lew's hair and promises were whispered between the brushes of lips.

 Nix at last pulled   back with a strangled gasp making  Dick hesitate.

"Lew?"

  Lew smiled weakly "sorry,  you just took my breath away literally."

Dick rolled  his eyes but decided that  maybe they should  wait  till Nix  was feeling a little better.

"I only have one question to ask you  Dick Winters" Nix continued

Dick nodded.

"are you going my way?"

 Dick smiled, that dazzling smile that melted Nix's heart and   made his feel  dizzy and like a love sick puppy.

"of course".  he said  as he took hold of Nix's hand "no where  else I'd rather  be."

 


End file.
